


Tears of a Prince

by btamamura



Series: TomoRyu [10]
Category: B-PROJECT 鼓動＊アンビシャス | B-PROJECT: Kodou Ambitious
Genre: Angst, Blood, Character Death In Dream, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24306019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/btamamura/pseuds/btamamura
Summary: Tomohisa hates being seen as vulnerable, so he is more prone to wearing a neutral expression when upset. But, sometimes, one can't help being vulnerable. Like when they sleep, leaving them open to views of that which they fear in the form of nightmares.After almost losing Ryuji, Tomohisa is haunted by views of the what ifs coursing through his subconscious.I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR THIS STORY TO BE ON ANY SITE/APP OTHER THAN AO3.
Relationships: Kitakado Tomohisa/Korekuni Ryuuji
Series: TomoRyu [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1118904
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Tears of a Prince

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own B-PROJECT or any canon characters, they are the property of their respective owners.
> 
> Notes: After reading the latest update of Juudals' soulmate AU "because it's you", I was feeling melancholy and wound up having the dream that inspired this fic. Sorry my return to TomoRyu is full of angst.
> 
> Tomohisa and Ryuji are in a romantic relationship, so slash warning. They might be OOC. There are deaths in the nightmares.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> ~*~ = flashback

Ryuji was resting his head on his chest, even breaths escaping slightly parted lips and brushing against his skin. He had his arms around him and was lightly rubbing his back. Tomohisa loved holding Ryuji that way as they slept, though it hadn't always been like that. If he recalled correctly, it had started after a few troubling nights full of nightmares. The current sleeping position had been Ryuji's idea, it would help him remember reality. 

As Tomohisa closed his eyes, letting himself fall asleep, he started reflecting on how it had all started.

~*~

It had been going on for a few nights since the accident, the one that resulted in his beloved partner being in a state of amnesia, unable to remember past the age of seven.

Tomohisa was finding it difficult to sleep, the image of Ryuji lying unconscious at the bottom of a set of stairs, blood pooling from his head, it was one that would forever be imprinted in his own mind. If he ever lost his memories only to regain them, he hoped that would be one that never returned. He'd managed to push it to the back of his mind through the day, but it always came to the forefront in his sleep.

***

The first night, he was alone in their shared apartment, Ryuji resting in the hospital. He woke up, deciding he was not going to get much, if any, rest so he may as well just distract himself until he fell asleep from exhaustion. Only then could he guarantee he would be so deep in sleep that image would fail to return. 

He would keep taking the lollipop out of his pocket, the one Ryuji gave him. He had no intention of eating it, he'd give it to Ryuji when he was feeling better, no matter when that would be. Instead, he'd gaze at it, thoughts of his partner filling his mind. The small but determined teenager in _Bambi_ who shone with a light of such magnificence, those who saw him may as well have been staring into the sun. The slightly nervous but ready young man holding his hand as they stepped onto the stage for their debut as _Kitakore_. The pouting face with light pink cheeks as that lovely voice scolded him for being too blunt in his praise. The feel of his lips against his own the night they realised their truest affectional depths for each other.

He sighed as he filled the electric kettle. He could at least manage a cup of tea in the meantime. He set it on the dock and switched it on.  
Ryuji forgot all of that, all of those precious memories that Tomohisa treasured as he shared them with him, or he _had_ shared them, it was too soon to tell if he would. 

And Tomohisa knew that at that moment, while Ryuji would cling to him for security, the love they shared was only realised on one side. He lifted his hand to his chest, his heart aching at that realisation. 

The kettle switched off but sat forgotten as Tomohisa moved to the living area and sat on the sofa heavily, head in his hands and shoulders heavily weighed down. He missed the Ryuji he loved, the one who loved him. He wanted him back. But, he had to be brave, because the Ryuji who didn't know him as intimately still needed him.

Physical and emotional exhaustion overtook him. He fell asleep on the sofa, the apartment's internal heating system keeping his body warm even if his heart was cold from the heartache he was feeling.

***

The second night, Ryuji was home. He'd regained his memories, though was still mildly fuzzy on some of the details of the previous twenty-four hours. Still, the absence had been felt, both needing each other that night, so they were both asleep in Tomohisa's bed. Or Ryuji was, anyway.

Tomohisa was still visited by the image of Ryuji at the foot of the stairs. But, it was accompanied by another image that had his heart stop. A car, headlights shining, tyres squealing, about to strike Ryuji down as he ran from the same paparazzo responsible for his accident. In his panicked, seven-year-old state of mind, Ryuji had run blindly onto the road. Tomohisa had managed to push him out of the way just in the nick of time, and while they both had nasty bruises and some grazing from falling onto the road, Ryuji had regained his memories.

So, Tomohisa was haunted by both times in two days he was scared he was going to lose the young man he loved forever. The visuals, the sounds, the sensations, the utter helpless horror, the determination to save him, the desire but inability to let himself cry...all of that and more.

He opened his eyes and saw Ryuji sleeping peacefully. He smiled softly at the sight, glad Ryuji could be at peace at least. He would've been exhausted after everything that had happened, and his father had mentioned that fatigue for a few days was normal after they'd both been examined - Ryuji for further injuries and to confirm he no longer had amnesia, and Tomohisa for any potential internal injuries where his bruises were spread. 

He reached a hand to Ryuji's head, stroking it tenderly before kissing his forehead, knowing he was not going to wake from it. Seeing Ryuji so calm, so at peace and right beside him helped him calm down.

***

The third night, Tomohisa did not awaken. He was pulled too deep into his dreams. Or rather, nightmares.

One version was after the fall. How he'd hurried down the steps to make sure Ryuji was still breathing, that his pulse was not severely adjusted, while he shakily called for an ambulance, having sent Yuta to inform Yashamaru of what had happened.

In the nightmare, Ryuji's fall had resulted in more than his head injury. His neck had been broken, unfortunately, in a way that killed him instantly. And when Tomohisa had realised that, he broke too. Tears filled his eyes as he knelt by Ryuji, pleading for him to wake up, but there was never going to be a response.

In the real world, Ryuji stirred as he heard some sounds coming from his partner. Hitched breaths. He bit his bottom lip as he had a closer look, depending on the shine of the moonlight through the window to give him answers. He frowned.

Tomohisa was crying in his sleep. His sobs were no more than hitched breaths, his lips moved as he uttered silent pleas, and tears ran down his cheeks from eyes squeezed shut.

It wasn't the first time Ryuji had seen his partner cry, though it was the first time in a long time. He still remembered that day when they were still in _Bambi_. He was leaving with Yuta, the other boy having made plans with him for them to try the sweets at a new cafe that had opened up. He'd had to hurry back to the locker room, saying he'd forgotten to grab something, but when he reached the room, he froze in his steps at the sight of Tomohisa sitting there, his knees to his chest, arms around them and head on his knees. At first, he thought Tomohisa had just been having a quick nap before Andy picked him up, but then he saw the taller boy lift his head and rub at his eyes with his sleeve. He'd decided his forgotten item could stay in his locker overnight. He'd never found out why Tomohisa had been crying that afternoon because he'd decided against letting him know he'd seen that happen in the first place.

Ryuji waited until Tomohisa had calmed, his breaths evening out, those impassioned but silent pleas no longer coming from his lips and tears finally slowing to a stop. He figured Tomohisa was in a deeper state of sleep, so he reached over and used the sleeve of his pyjama top to dry his cheeks. Tomohisa might not want to know he'd cried in his sleep, he seemed to hate being seen as vulnerable, so Ryuji decided he wasn't going to tell him.

The next morning, Tomohisa was the first to awaken, but he noted his eyes were sticking shut more than usual. He didn't know why, and he had a feeling Ryuji wasn't going to tell him. He'd just have to wash his face.

***

The next night, the nightmares had started again. However, they were of the second variety.

Ryuji ran onto the road in the path of the oncoming car. But, unlike in reality where Tomohisa had been able to save him, Tomohisa had stumbled and the car struck Ryuji. Voices echoed through the air, shocked screams as the young man's body flew from the impact and crashed onto the road. Tomohisa had rushed to Ryuji's side, screaming his name in horrified desperation. He knelt by him, no signs of life. He could hear someone, either Kento or Tatsuhiro, scream to call an ambulance, he could hear Yuta starting to wail and Tsubasa's sobbing, he could hear Mikado and Hikaru screaming for Ryuji to wake up, Goushi shouting a loud obscenity, and those were soon all drowned out as his heart shattered to its final piece and he wailed in agony, crying his partner's name again and again, knowing it would never wake him up. The ambulance arrived, and revealing a secret none were to know, before Ryuji could be taken away, he'd pressed his lips to Ryuji's cold ones, uttering the unheard words of affection he knew he'd never hear in reciprocation.

Once again, Ryuji woke to the sound of Tomohisa's hitched breaths as he cried in his sleep. And once again, he'd waited until Tomohisa had calmed before wiping away his tears.

Which also meant the morning replayed the same way, with Tomohisa managing to open his eyes but needing to wash his face. He considered he might need to have his eyes examined, maybe he was developing conjunctivitis.

***

Third night in a row it had happened, Ryuji waking to Tomohisa crying in his sleep, still only hearing hitched breaths in place of the sobs he was sure wanted to break through the lips moving hurriedly as pleas. Ryuji was ready, he waited until the time was right.

But, before he could wipe Tomohisa's cheeks, he saw beads of tears still lingering in silvery eyelashes. He blushed lightly, but decided it wasn't like Tomohisa was awake to know about it, so he leaned in, pressing his lips to Tomohisa's closed eyes. Eyes that started to flutter at the contact. Ryuji pulled back, but it was too late, Tomohisa was waking up.

His eyes, still sticky and moist, fluttered open. "Ryuji...?"

"Tomo..."

"What...?"

He couldn't hide it any longer, he had to come clean. "Tomo, you were crying in your sleep."

He sat up quickly in surprise. "Eh?"

Ryuji followed him. "Actually, you've done it since two nights ago."

He smiled sadly, cheeks lightly pink in embarrassment. He knew there was no shame in crying, but why did he have to do it in front of Ryuji? He didn't like crying in front of anybody. It was why he usually forced himself to wear a neutral expression when he was upset, at least until he felt he could no longer hold back when he was alone. Much like that one time in _Bambi_ when he'd been having a bad day from the moment he woke up and all through the day to the point practice and his assigned job went horribly, stress getting to him until he was the last one in the locker room and he'd finally let it go, curled into a ball and silently shedding his tears of stress and frustration. He'd thought he could hear footsteps, so he'd hurriedly wiped his eyes, but by the time he was done and had turned around, nobody was there.

"Tomo?"

"Ahh, this is embarrassing..." 

"What is?"

"Getting caught with my guard down like this." He realised his cheeks were still damp, so he reached up to wipe them, but was immediately stopped by Ryuji. "Ryuji?"

The smaller man had shifted so he was sitting on Tomohisa's lap. He was wearing a soft smile. "Things were hard for you, weren't they? I still remember you shakily taking hold of me as soon as we came home when I was discharged." He reached up, and just like the prior nights, he used the sleeve of his pyjamas to dry Tomohisa's cheeks. "At least you're letting it all out now, maybe you'll be able to get some better sleep without bad dreams."

Tomohisa considered those words. He'd heard talking about your nightmares could help them go away, and crying out your stress can ease it. "You'd died."

Ryuji paused and stared up at him. "Eh?"

"In my nightmares. The first time was your fall, you'd broken your neck on impact with one of the stairs. The second time, you were struck by that car that almost hit you. Both times, no matter what I did, you would not respond."

That made sense. The more Ryuji thought about it, the more Tomohisa's silent pleas had been for him to wake up or at least breathe, for someone to save his life...and then the horrified and heartbroken denials of death.

"Ever since the accident...I keep seeing the same image when I close my eyes. I always see you lying unconscious with blood pooling around your head. And ever since three nights ago, I also see the car about to hit you."

"Tomo..." He shifted position, straddling Tomohisa and bringing his partner's head to his chest. "What do you hear?"

"Your heartbeat. Ahh, it's so strong."

"Proof that I'm still alive. Don't go killing me off in your nightmares, I'm still here."

"You're right." He pulled back, bringing his lips to Ryuji's and kissing him tenderly. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise for it, you would've been stressing over the _what ifs_ for days and it led to that."

"Ryuji..."

"It's alright now, Tomo. I'm alright now. I'll remind you of that if you need it."

He nodded before they shared another kiss. "I love you, Ryuji."

"Mm, and I love you, Tomo, even if you can be an idiot at times."

His eyes burned as the remnants of his nightmares lingered in his mind.

"Oi, you're not crying again, are you?"

"Ahh, it's just..."

Ryuji pulled him back to his chest, stroking his hair.

"I guess I was just overwhelmed at hearing you say that."

"Huh? Don't I always?" Ryuji sounded mildly offended.

"No, not like that. It's...I guess my mind is still stuck in the nightmares."

His face softened and he huffed out a sigh. "So, that's it. Let me guess, you told me you love me but you never heard the response from me."

He nodded, no tears spilling over but his heart still heavy.

"Come on, we need to try to sleep. My bruises aren't as sore tonight, so you can hold me as much as you need. Unless you're too sore?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine." He waited for Ryuji to move off him before he reclined, then let Ryuji get comfortable, head pillowed on his chest. He kissed the top of his head and heard a long, drawn out but quiet sigh.

"Good night, Tomo, I love you. No more nightmares."

"I love you as well, Ryuji. Good night, sweet dreams."

***

There were no more nightmares. The excess of stress had been relieved through tears, the burden of keeping it all to oneself was lifted by talking about it, but what really helped was holding Ryuji close, his scent in his nostrils and Ryuji's soft breaths against his skin.

The images would still come to mind every now and then, but he only had to see Ryuji alive and well to dispel them.

~*~

He opened his eyes, holding Ryuji close.

"Tomo, I can hear you thinking...go to sleep already..."

He chuckled silently and nodded, kissing Ryuji atop his head. "Good night, my dear Ryuji." He closed his eyes once more and fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> After notes: Sorry again for the angst!
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. Comments and kudos are appreciated, but please no flames.


End file.
